Wholly owned subsidiary of
PUGUA' International Corporation
Denver, Colorado
"A lifestyle magazine for the global American woman."
Humor
Jokes, Jokes & more Jokes. Lolo the Chamorro: I had a dream last night that I had sex with Jennifer Anistin.
Mori the Chamori: Really? That
must have been a wonderful dream.
Lolo the Chamorro: Yeah, it was.
Toru the Chamoru: I had a dream last night that I
had sex with Jessica Simpson.
Mori the Chamori: Wow! I envy you, ga'chong.
Lolo the Chamorro: What about you, Primu?
Who did you bed with in La-La Land??
Toru the Chamoru: Yeah dude. Tell us?
Mori the Chamori: No way! I don't know if
I was dreaming or not.
Lolo the Chamorro: You don't know?
Mori the Chamori: It was a Nightmare. But I can't tell if
it was a GOOD Nightmare or a BAD Nightmare.
Toru the Chamoru: How could you NOT know? Tell us and we'll decide.
Mori
the Chamori: Okay. I went to bed at 9 p.m. and everything was kool. I had sex with a mystery blonde lady.
I thought it
was awesome because she reminded me of Marilyn Monroe. Then around 1 a.m.
I had sex with another mystery blonde woman.
It was okay because she looked
pretty much like Madonna. Well around 5 a.m. I was cuddling around with this other mystery
blonde lady.
Everything was going smoothly until I heard a loud Kaboom. I was shaking and aching.
I was sweating and
screaming...
Lolo the Chamorro: Why, man?
Toru the Chamoru: Sa håfa ga'chong?
Mori the Chamori: Well, that mystery
blonde lady looked a little like
Madeleine Bordallo and THAT was freaky...
Submitted 4-April-2009 by: Kyle Cruz, Mangilao, Guam
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Toru the Chamoru was visiting relatives in San Diego. At
a beach Bar-B-Q,
the homeboy was attracted to a cutie in bikini who was sunbathing.
Toru the Chamoru: Hey Momma! How
you doin?
The girl ignored him.
Toru the Chamoru: Listen baby. I'll give you a Hundred Dollars
if you'll have sex
with me.
The girl became offended and scolded: What? You think I'm a whore?
Toru the Chamoru: No, baby. I think you
are månnge'. I'll give you Two Hundred.
The girl continued: You think I'm a bitch?
Toru the Chamoru: No baby. You are
yum-yum! Make it Three Hundred Bucks.
The girl went on: You think you can just buy my body??
Toru the Chamoru: No Momma.
You are SO gorgeous. I'll give you Four Hundred.
The girl looking frustrated, shook her head and said:
Make it Five
Benjamins and you got a deal.
"Alright!" Toru the Chamoru shouted in celebration.
"Do you take Foodstamps?
Submitted 3-April-2009 by: Kyle Cruz, Mangilao, Guam
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
YOU MIGHT BE HAWAIIAN, if you measure your bloodline
by percentage.
Submitted 30-March-2009
by: Eric Orinion, Kailua, Oahu
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
YOU MIGHT BE PORTEGEE, if you are 42 years old and still
live with your parents...
Submitted 30-March-2009
by: Eric Orinion, Kailua, Oahu
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
At a Chamber of Commerce luncheon in Raleigh,
North Carolina, Saina Norbert Perez of Panama was asked how being married to a head-strong and Intelligent Latina woman was?
He replied, “I just love it! I cherrish the idea of standing side-by-side to the most beautiful and all-knowing woman.”
Then he was asked if he and his wife ever had a spat? He stated succinctly, “My wife and I NEVER fight and we NEVER
disagree. I learned a long, long time ago that “YES DEAR” is a cure-all recipe... Dr. Phil calls it KYPM or KNOW
YOUR PLACE MAN...
Submitted 29-March-2009
by: Tom Masga, Talofofo, Guahan
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There was a Hawaiian, a Chuukese and a Chamori. They worked
as drivers for a Trucking Company in Honolulu. One afternoon at lunch, the Hawaiian looked at his two pals and said, “My
sista is so damed lucky. She found dis rich Houle and married him. Now she's living the American fairytale” The Chuukese
echoed a similar sentiment, “Yeah! My Sister met a Diver in Chuuk. He too is Houle and she married him. And, she's living
the great American dream” The Chamori not wanting to be outdone responded, “Oh yeah? Well my Modda back in Guam
has hundreds of Houle Military Friends but she is still married to my Fodda. Dey too are living the great American pie. Dey
get da Foodstamps, Dey get da Welfare, Dey get da GHURA Housing, Dey get da WIC, Dey get da SSI and everything under the American
sun.
Submitted 29-March-2009 by: Tom
Masga, Talofofo, Guahan
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
YOU MIGHT BE FROM GUAM, if you eat fruitbats..."
"
Submitted 25-March-2009 by: Bachigo', MTM, Guam
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
YOU MIGHT BE FROM GUAM, if you're 11 years old and still
a virgin. "
"
Submitted 25-March-2009
by: Bachigo', MTM, Guam
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
YOU MIGHT BE FROM GUAM, if you feel that incest is a family
planning strategy...."
"
Submitted 25-March-2009
by: Bachigo', MTM, Guam
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Tun Ramon Salas of Malesso' was arrested and charged with Sexual Assault. At his trial, Judge Lamorena asked
him: "Tun Ramon, please explain to the court why you pleaded Not Guilty to the charge?" The old man took the stand and declared.
"Your Honor. My name is Ramon Salas of Malesso' and I am NOT GUILTY. I am 87-years old and I am suffering from a disease called:
'Chetnot Manman'." The judge motioned for him to explain. The old man continued, "Your Honor. Chetnot Manman is an old age
sickness. The judge egged him on: “I have never heard of such a disease”. The old man added, “Your Honor.
Chetnot Manman is when a man thinks he can dunk the basketball like Kobi Bryant but he can't jump. Chetnot Manman is when
a man thinks he can run the mile in 3-minutes yet he can barely walk. Chetnot Manman is when the mind is fired-up but the
body is NOT.
Submitted 20-March-2009
by: Joaquin Sablan, Sinajana, Guam
